Shouldn’t we expect some emotional fallout? So we go hard on the changes. With every gift comes an equal responsibility. Like kids, your dog will take cues from your level of reaction as a guide for how strongly they should feel and be concerned about situations. They feel they’re denying their dogs the fun and joy of exploring and being dogs, but the reality is that your dog will actually enjoy the walk much more if he’s calm, relaxed, and stress free. $139.99 $ 139. The trick is to not use a tense leash to hold your dog back from moving through the threshold, but, instead, use a quick pop on the leash if your dog should try to move past you. A reality where we have to work a heck of a lot harder to keep them balanced. So get that dog trained, get him under control, or get him on a leash or long line. But for us, the ones blurring the lines, we’ve got a different reality. The stuff you can’t wait to witness and cheer on. What you’ve allowed. A very leggy dog, Jasper brings to mind the AT-AT battle walkers featured in The Empire Strikes Back. Work to maintain a fun but in-control vibe. 22. The behavior you think you’re possibly creating (and are ok with) is what you get. With certain dogs, these interactions and privileges we share can unintentionally convey that listening, respecting, and prioritizing us, isn’t something they need to worry about. How I helped my Halley go from screaming puppy to respectful citizen in a house full of cats. You can find out more about our use of cookies and our privacy policy by clicking on the Privacy Policy button below. But then if you met our […], Elsa Clair is has the black and white splotchy markings of a Holstein cow. Having a rock solid recall on your own dog gives you a big edge in being able to manage and mitigate trouble. They don’t think couch privilege might not be on the menu. Life with dogs is wonderful! Not that these breeds can’t be a mess as well, but dog trainer dogs are usually picked for their exceptional temperament and good behavior, so it’s not a good reflection of the reality of what your dog’s behavior will look like. Like us, when authority and rules are foggy, or not consistently enforced, we tend to take advantage of them. Instead, focus on creating respectful, calm behavior at thresholds with your dog stopping and waiting for permission from you to move through. Who you’ve been and how you’ve behaved. What’s the number one question we get from owners? Winner of the 2014 BlogPaws Nose-to Nose-Award for Best Blog Post. And the funny thing is, our program almost never changes. Some of the cookies are essential, while others help us improve your experience. The tendency for us is to want to connect and communicate to our dogs. It creates awesome, non-pulling walks, eradicates reactivity on-leash, stops jumping, fixes human or dog aggression, and makes resource guarding a thing of the past. So this begs the question: with this new dynamic of near total integration and sharing, how the heck do you keep your dogs balanced, respectful, polite, and well-behaved in the face of all these mixed messages? What many owners don’t understand is that these seemingly benign privileges and interactions can create strong feelings and perceptions in our dogs – feelings and perceptions about us, their owners. Lincoln, England, United Kingdom About Blog Patricia B. McConnell, … Constant pressure when it’s avoidable? Of course there are breed tendencies, but what I’m suggesting is that you focus less on breed and more on individual attitude/demeanor of the dog in front of you. The less leadership on tap, the less latitude you get. If you really want you dog to relax while you’re away, then don’t load them up with physical and emotional juice prior to leaving. If you’ve been to my website or Facebook page, you know I’m a huge advocate of prong collars. What space of leadership are you able to step into? If we allow dogs to be emotional disasters (which looks like chronic barking, possessive behavior, separation anxiety, hyper-reactivity, growling/lunging at triggers, maniacal on-leash behavior, maniacal indoor behavior, aggression etc) when we have the ability to change that and offer them something far better, isn’t that abuse? ), and has a near-religious, cult-like following among its devotees. Your dog needs structure and rules from you in order to feel comfortable, respectful, and safe on the walk. Maybe this religion is actually more about rescuing broken people by way of rescuing dogs. Is it the most beneficial part of your day…probably. Honesty, it depends on the dog, and it depends on you. Shouldn’t we see some therapy-like discomfort and overwhelm as they attempt to navigate unchartered mental and behavioral waters? If you’re tools get great results, show me. Instead, check in with your inner human animal and let it tell you how the dog’s attitude and demeanor “feels” to you. Lilah is a small border collie mix, with glossy, obsidian-black fur, a sweeping silky tail and eyes the color of caramels. Check out my Walk video below for step-by-step instructions on how to create a calm, structured walk: Also, see my post called Why Heel Matters. Remember, what your dog needs and wants most is a balanced world where you fulfills all his needs – his need for structure, leadership, rules, discipline, guidance, play, adventure, exercise, and love. Even though the intention is 100% positive, the actual outcome for the dog is the opposite. I get it. These dogs likely have the best food, tons of “love”, and a nice cozy bed(s) to sleep on. This blog features a lot of meaty information about how to care for your dog. -2017 Online article: Rescue A #ClearTheShelters Cat Adoption Story Just make it as normal and non-eventful as possible. Don’t tell me. My guys are allowed on furniture, sleep on my bed, and roam the house pretty much as they please. But at the same time, if something silly goes down, if there’s a serious transgression or mistake, you better believe that they know that the ole number 10 of discipline isn’t far behind. Print. Every move is calculated, purposeful and intended. They focus on in-depth topics and reviews… Most owners would be astounded by how much the “crazy” factor – for you and your dog! It depends on how bad things have been, how out of balance you both are, and perhaps most importantly, what you’re capable of sharing in regards to the other side of the conversation. But alas, when you go searching, it’s nowhere to be found. middle of the floor, when pondering life’s and I’d be happy. What you’ve reinforced. Or maybe there’s a third. If you’re getting great results, this should be easy enough to do. But what happens is, your dog’s personal insecurities, temperament, genetics, and attitude become a giant mixer – a mixer that combines with what you add to it. So have your dog wear a training collar and leash in the house, only when you are home supervising. little sparrow, you’d be lunch Like anything else, that which is too easily obtained is not valued or appreciated. They’re left feeling confused, worked up, excited, emotionally stimulated. . April 26, 2017. News & Insights. The last quarter of a dog’s life, up until end-of-life, is considered the senior stage. That we’re sorry. Isn’t allowing suffering the same as causing suffering? Trust me. Check out my Threshold video below for step-by-step instructions on how to create better behavior and a better state of mind at thresholds: Same goes for the walk itself. Just be neutral. There was clarity. You basically leave your dog holding the emotional bag. I also remember how I would lose MY cool back in the days before I had any understanding of training or tools – it wasn’t fun or pretty. So knowing all that, why on earth would we expect a dog, who’s going through major transformational stuff, to always look happy? Trust that your dog is a creature designed to overcome challenges, and that she is much more resilient than you give her credit for. So the only action step needed for this commandment is a perspective and awareness shift. How come there’s so much aggression, resource guarding, possessiveness, separation anxiety, reactivity, and so on? #dogsandcatstexting #catlife #itsonlyacceptableifitsnotintendedforcats, But when I do, I like to watch… everything, if not for this glass Those who shout about alternatives – alternative tools, methods, approaches. and I’d be happy, Keep dogs out of the litter box with Door Buddy. If you’re lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the current friction in the dog training world, let me ruin that for you. And yet…, Second-Chance Dogs: True Stores of the Dogs We Rescue and the Dogs Who Rescue Us, Lucky Penny, A #ClearTheShelters Cat Adoption Story, Almost as Good as a Spa Day: Taking Your Cat to the Vet Doesn’t Have to Be, K&H Manufacturing Kitty Sill Ez Window Mount: one shelf, K&H Manufacturing Kitty Sill Ez Window Mount: Double Stack. How do owners know how much is too much? It’s a great formula to help owners see super clearly what their responsibility is, and the hard work they have to do in order to have the fun stuff they desire with their dog. And because of this new dynamic – this dynamic of compete sharing, complete access, and complete emotional integration – we’ve blurred lines. People in therapy are often found crying, trembling, overwhelmed and freaked out as they attempt to navigate their interior world. So if we understand that excitement, adrenaline, stress, and anxiety are actually where problem behaviors come from, and that calm, relaxed, stress-free dogs tend to make great choices on their own, we can hopefully see the value in perceiving these states for what they truly are rather than what human emotions we project onto them. 10,682 talking about this. The Best Harness for Dogs. Everyone has a video recorder in their pocket today. I’m 48. It’s also informed him about the rules of life. What are you able to change within yourself? But be a conscientious consumer, and be aware that video (especially those using the trainer’s own dogs) can be made to look awfully good! best place for the cat to lie: You don’t know what’s going to come out the other end of a relationship that’s short on leadership, rules, and accountability, and long on chaos and permissiveness. So the last thing you want to do is make something that’s already difficult for your dog…a thousand times worse. Don’t talk to me about the how’s and why’s and benefits of a certain method. And once again, all achieved without those damn tools, consequences, or leadership stuff. The dogs, the owners, the truth, don’t matter. 2017 CATalyst Council Connection Award, 2018 -2019 Humor: Text from Cat: Rub my belly When you truly care and are truly aware, you doesn’t just share the stuff that is fun, fulfilling, and pleasurable for yourself – you also share the stuff that is sometimes hard, sometimes not easy, and sometimes not fun. . It creates absolutely reliable recalls…even around squirrels and other dogs. When dogs feel a serious assertiveness/strength/leadership discrepancy between themselves and the human that thinks they’re in charge of setting rules and limits for them, you can see major friction arise. Are there any dogs who are engaging in bullying behavior or anything else that makes you nervous? You know, all that stuff that owners want. So many owners mistakenly associate leadership (creating a framework of rules and expectations), structure (daily habits, routines, patterns), and accountability (consequences for breaking known rules, or making poor choices in general) with being mean, nasty, and harsh. And it’s that willingness to be the authority figure, to share with my dogs what I know they need from me – to do the hard stuff rather than just the easy stuff – that allows us to maintain a happy, respectful, and fun-filled life together. By Kara Gavin. I know it’s work to capture before footage and after footage, and to edit it and all. Not that previous generations didn’t love their dogs, I’m sure they did, but the role our dogs play in our emotional lives today seems much different than that of the past. Life With Dogs. If there’s too much noise in the room, you might not even hear her. They were companions we enjoyed during outdoor adventures or ball throwing and family time in the yard. In the previous post, I talked about the fallout that can occur when we use raised voices, anger, or emotional intensity in our interactions with our dogs, and how it’s the natural by-product of the frustration that occurs when we don’t use proper tools and strategy that let us communicate effectively. If we allow our dogs to suffer when there are methods, approaches, and tools that can change all that, isn’t that abusive? Click HERE to order your copy! I know that’s not what you want. Most owners consider dog parks fun places to let their dog play with others while they socialize as well. So here are some suggestions: Most importantly, I want you to simply be aware that even if you have a friendly, easy-going dog, many other owners aren’t lucky enough to be in the same position. News & Insights. diminish the joy of a If you’re honest with yourself, you can create a lifestyle that works and keeps everyone happy and balanced. 655K likes. . The thing is, you never know which ones. Blog Teach Your Dog to Come When Called Listen to the PodcastOne of the most important skills you will ever teach your dog is to come to you reliably on command. These owners just want to love their dogs – which is code for selfish/lazy behavior. Then they’re left with all the emotional elevation, and nowhere to put it. If, for some reason, you’re unable to utilize these other options and feel the dog park is a necessity for you and your dog, then here are a few tips to think about: Remember, it’s your job to advocate and protect your dog. Well, in my opinion, you shouldn’t let it happen. I just create a simple rule for my clients that they aren’t to let their dogs interact on-leash with other dogs on the walk. Helping them to feel more comfort, more calm, more relaxation, and more acceptance of your departure. These issues can run the gamut, from mildly annoying, to the very serious and dangerous. Even though your human heart may feel cold and uncaring by just leaving, your dog won’t receive it like that. The only issue is, it doesn’t really work. Easy peasy. Even though all that’s been done is that the dog’s pattern’s been blocked, or it’s in a new environment, or it’s simply not being allowed to act out as usual. And all without any of those nasty tools, or having to be “mean” to your dog. It’s not there. That’s the stuff you can’t wait to see in action. It’s in these moments that you create your relationship dynamics. Twitter. Okay, that’s several questions, but you get the idea, right? Remember, the numbers don’t lie. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. A soft owner, a laid-back owner, an emotionally-fragile owner, or a sweet and overly-loving owner can all get themselves into serious trouble if they’re attempting to cohabitate with an assertive, confident, bratty, or otherwise strong-minded dog. We recommend a 90/10 ratio of structure to freedom. And make sure you see the actual clients duplicating that process. that sharing soft energy or soothing interactions with our dogs when they’re in an unhealthy state will likely reinforce and strengthen the unwanted behavior. That balance of love and leadership is what allows me to have the best of both worlds. The Best Of Dogs Naturally 2020. This existence usually looks like barking, destruction, escaping, obsessive behavior etc. Few industries have as much contentious, friction-filled, vitriolic, opinionated, near-religious beliefs being flung around as does the dog training world. When I was walking down that aisle 5 years ago, I did not anticipate that this anniversary would come so gobsmackingly fast, but it did. When can we pet him? But all that heavy-duty stuff? 9,988 talking about this. 1. Previously we learned that allowing these behaviors oftentimes creates relationship issues, teaches your dog to ignore you, trains pushiness, and often creates stressed out little monsters. These leash pops are conversations to your dog that communicate where your dog should be position-wise. Here’s what we share with our owners to help them wrap their heads around the formula for keeping their dogs and relationship in balance, especially as they’re working through problem behaviors, training and relationship transitioning. This is a simple and effective strategy to help keep your relationship in balance and ensure your dog is in a heathy frame of mind, seeing resources comes from you at your discretion, and patterning a healthy habit of respectful, obedient behavior. If your approach gets great results, show me. In the previous post, we learned that allowing dogs to work their relationships issues out on their own can be a recipe for disaster. 9) Thou shall honor your dog at the highest level and keep him balanced and healthy by treating him like a dog and not a human. All that matters is that that nagging pain within subsides. It’s meant to be a gateway to the opposite – more comfort, less anxiety, less stress. Surely they want to help dog owners and other trainers see this great stuff so they can all make more evolved, more enlightened decisions. dog’s joy: a leaf pile, a dirty nose can’t The best way to avoid this unhappy situation is to become highly conscious of finding a dog that is a good match in both temperament and energy levels. Read posts from Complete with Dogs...and Cats, the blog that started it all. They’re the window dressing. As a professional trainer, I see this one almost constantly – and attempting to repair the behavioral fallout that occurs from it is a daily focus. Maybe dogs and owners aren’t the priority at all. Our dogs are reading us. We’ve created a lot of confusion and mixed messages, and we’ve set our dogs up to make natural assumptions and decisions based on those messages. puppies for adoption or older dogs for adoption), by location, by shelter or search by your ideal criteria such as house-trained dogs, dogs good with children, good with other dogs, good with cats, active dogs etc. Do we sometimes need specific protocols for specific issues? And that’s not necessarily a bad thing…IF we’re prepared to do the hard work that come with that. Just leave. Click HERE to read my post that gives step-by-step details of how to create this harmonious introduction. So what’s the right approach to dogs meeting on-leash? As owners we instinctively understand that we need a leash and collar to safely control our dogs outside on walks, but for some reason (and trust me, I was included in this group some years ago!) Don’t allow things to continuously escalate and intensify – these escalated intensity/adrenaline moments are the perfect opportunity for trouble to break out. We see so many dogs with gigantic laundry lists of issues. 3 Comments. We need to be able move between both worlds of lover and leader effortlessly and intelligently, being mindful to correct negative, unwanted behavior effectively and convincingly, and reward positive, healthy behavior. Show me truly troubled dogs, before training, and show me these same troubled dogs transformed, or at least tremendously improved, after training. Avoiding Inter-Pet Aggression During Quarantine. It’s about doing what’s best and healthiest for those in your charge – even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. But if you’re willing to dive in, be vulnerable, and do the work, amazing things can happen. Make sure you see actual client dogs making progress. 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